I'd set my heart on seeing this show (mainly due to the 'mild-peril' potential of having a load of scissors whirling around in an uncontrolled manner) but I was dogged by the inability of any of my friends to be free on a thursday night. I guess it's not helpful when the show you're trying to sell to them is a contemporary reworking in dance of a 90s cult gothic classic about an artificial man with scissors for hands. I thought I'd finally found someone lovely and amusing to accompany me, but in the afternoon she texted saying how disappointed she was but she'd "have to take a rain check" because she really should go to her alpha course. I was turned down for an alpha course - gutted. And I still don't really know what a 'rain check' is. In the end my geographically-close friend Mark saved the day, although he was not impressed to find out that he was 'back-up-buddy'.As usual with my outings there is a lot to say before the main event begins. I was minding my own business in the foyer when a message came over the PA - "Would Mr Ian Braithwaite please come to the box office." I confirmed with Mark that they had indeed called my name, and headed off wondering what services they were going to expect me to perform.* At the box office a couple were pointed out and I was told they were looking for me. I introduced myself to the pair who looked a bit taken aback and after some cross-purpose chat they explained that it was a different Ian Braithwaite they were looking for. Bemused, I hung around the foyer keeping the couple in the corner of my eye. No-one else went up to them. I was called again over the PA, or at least my impersonator was. No-one appeared. Mark got bored and wondered off, I decided to try again so I walked up to them and asked if they were absolutely sure it wasn't me they wanted. They looked at me strangely and I'm sure the bloke was thinking "what has this man done with the real Ian Braithwaite?", and the woman was thinking "has he murdered him and now he's trying to steal his identity?" So I backed away and left them waiting. It's not like Braithwaite is a particularly common name (outside of the Lake District and a housing estate near Keithley in Yorkshire) so I'm a bit freaked out.
Anyway, about the show. The dancing hedges were a highlight, and I loved the onstage topiary. And there was a great bit when a bean-bag fell from the ceiling. Ummm ... to be honest I found it very difficult to focus on the plot, despite my best intentions. I've discovered that, when watching someone dance who has scissors for hands, there is a constant little commentary at the back of my mind: "careful, ooh that was close ... don't wave them there ... you'll have someone's eye out!" Still, the dancing was amazing - there was some great characterisation and wonderful set-pieces (such as the ice-sculpture scene). The representation of small-town America was genius, with very clever forced-perspective staging which you'll have to ask me to describe another time. I did enjoy it, I just discovered I get nervous when people run with scissors.
* I have this recurring daydream/fantasy that I will be at a gig or a show and someone will come on stage and say that they deeply regret canceling the evening but the bass player has been taken ill and they can't possibly continue without a bass player - unless maybe there is someone present who could step in and take over? And I would go forward and everyone would cheer.
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